FLOP of the Month Contest Rules

From now on, this blog will be giving out an award for the lowest Form of Life On the Planet at the end of each month. Here are the basic rules of the contest as well as descriptions of some recent award winners:

Rules:

(1) Anyone can nominate their "favorite" candidate(s) for each month's award. Nominations may be made by posting the candidate's name either on this blog or on my Facebook page.

(2) There is a limit of five (5) nominations per person per month.

(3) The deadline for posting a nomination is 12:00 midnight Pacific Standard Time on the last day of each month.

(4) Candidates should be unusually awful human beings. Some of the characteristics which tend to qualify "worthy" candidates include, but are not limited to: (1) Hypocrisy; (2) Dishonesty; (3) Corruption; (4) Greed; (5) Selfishness, (6) Cruelty, (7) Dismissiveness of Others, (8) Remarkable Stupidity and/or Ignorance, and (9) General Douche Baggery.

(5) Notwithstanding the logical inferences to be drawn from the above listed characteristics, contestants need not be members of the Republican Party in order to qualify for the award (although membership in the GOP will certainly not hinder an applicant's chances).

(6) Arizona Governor Jan Brewer will not be eligible for the award in any month for the following reason: In view of her steadfast refusal to release readily available and relatively minimal funds to pay for what would be lifesaving operations for 96 desperate Arizonans who are currently on the waiting list for organ transplants (there were 98, but Governor Brewer has already murdered two of them), she would "win" the award by acclamation every month. Therefore, Governor Brewer has been granted senior, emeritus status as the lowest Form of Life On the Planet for the entire 21st Century. Consequently, if she were regarded as an eligible candidate, the outcome of east month's contest would be preordained.

(7) Four contestants are such uniquely qualified douche bags that they will automatically be eligible for each month's contest even if they do not receive a specific nomination that month. This rarefied group includes the following:

A. Unapologetic Racist; Mean-Spirited Purveyor of Slander; Despicable Bully; Daily Spouter of Unfunny Attempts at Humor; and Self Appointed Vanguard of the Far Right, who wouldn't recognize the truth if it walked up to him and introduced itself, Rush Limbaugh;

B. Unvarnished Idiot and Proud Displayer of Shocking Ignorance ("The Founding Fathers Eradicated Slavery??"), an I.Q. Beneath the Speed Limit (in school zones); and Unparalleled Delusions of Grandeur (when she has so much to be humble about), Michele Bachmann;

C. Escaped Mental Patient, Delusional Conspiracy Theorist, Notorious Caliphate Enthusiast, and Internationally Renowned Nazi Memorabilia Expert, Glenn Beck; and

D. Pied Piper of Ignorance, Russian Foreign Policy Wonk, Country of Africa Expert, Reader of All Magazines, Unapologetic Gratuitous Violence Advocate, Possessor of Insatiable Greed, Quitter Emeritus, and Megalomaniac Extraordinaire, Sarah Palin.

(8) With the exception of these four uniquely qualified candidates, only those persons who are expressly nominated during a given month will be considered for that month’s award.

(9) Each nomination should be accompanied by a brief description of the candidate’s statement(s) or conduct that is alleged to qualify them for consideration as that month's lowest form of life on the planet (FLOP).

Recent Examples:

The following are representative examples from previous contests:

A. Our maiden FLOP of the year (2009) Award went to Republican Missouri State Representative Cynthia Davis who opposed subsidizing school lunches for low income children during summer months with this remarkable comment: "HUNGER CAN BE A POSITIVE MOTIVATOR."

(The following link contains an unforgettable salute to her by Stephen Colbert) - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/02/colbert-tells-viewers-to_n_224628.html

B. We began the FLOP of the Month contest last November with Jan Brewer as our inaugural recipient for obvious reasons previously stated (before she attained senior status).

C. At December's end, we gave out our Second Annual FLOP of the Year Award to a rare non-political contestant: an Ohio woman by the name of Jennifer Petkov who taunted a 7-year-old neighbor girl suffering from a terminal illness by posting pictures on Facebook of the child with a skull and crossbones and of the child's mother (who had recently died from the same disease) hugging the grim reaper, and who also parked a homemade coffin in front of their home.
Lovely.

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/10/jennifer_lyn_petkov_taunts_7-y.php

D. Our January, 2011, FLOP of the Month Award went to Sarah Palin, not because of her "cross hairs" post which arguably set the tone of politically violent and vitriolic rhetoric shortly before the tragedy in Tucson that claimed the lives of six people and wounded 13 others, including Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ).
No, Palin was the recipient of January's award because of her reaction to the horrific incident in which she ignored the actual victims of the gunman's rampage and tried to make the entire discussion about herself.
She also made that ghastly "blood libel" remark. But, worst of all, within seconds of complaining that Democrats were unfairly trying to lay some of the blame for the tragedy at her feet, Palin actually said that the gunman appeared to be "apolitical OR PERHAPS EVEN LEFT-LEANING!"

http://www.thewrap.com/television/column-post/hannity-palin-defends-blood-libel-remark-says-suspect-apolitical-or-perhaps-e

Okay. I hope the rules and qualifications for the contest have been adequately explained. The next post will contain a list of February’s contestants followed by the award "winner."